Ae Dil Hai Mushkil/Hiatus

Yeh rooh bhi meri

Yeh jism bhi mera

Utna mera nahi

Jitna hua tera

Tune diya hai jo

Woh dard hi sahi

Tujhse mila hai toh

Inaam hai mera

.......

Tujhko main kitni

Shiddat se chaahun

Chaahe toh rehna tu be-khabar

Mohtaaj manzil ka toh nahi hai

Ye ek tarfa mera safar, safar

Khoobsurat hai manzil se bhi

.........

Did you guys manage to guess that it would be this song? 

Oh! and I am planning on taking a hiatus, a short break you may call it; may be a week or two not more. I have to go back - rebuild and fortify my position, aree bhai Quarantine khatam ho raha hai toh ab sab introspection chod chaad ke waapus jaana hai wahi jaha se yaha aaye the.

Small talk kaafi hui ab jaayenge hum gaane ki rooh ko samjhne. Rooh samjahte toh? Rooh woh hai jo amar hai, iska anth nahi. Yeh woh hai jo aapko ishvar se joode rakhti hai. Ishvar aapka khuda - in this context, his lord is his love for her. He worships his love.

The song is my favourite not because it's sad but soley for the lyrics and the emotion they incite. Now the protagonist is in love with a woman and it's unrequited (see the movie) but that doesn't stop him from loving her. Nobody can stop an individual from loving anybody, not even me. 

Have you ever realised how fragile a human mind can be and even delicate is our body, mitti se bane hai hum bas paani daalo ya krodhit ho jaao - toh hum kya humaara vajood sab dhul jaayega. 

And when you surrender that which belongs to you to somebody special, you are left with longing. Rooh bhi de di, jism bhi de diya, mera sab tujhe de diya and mere paas ab sirf bachi hai teri yaaden and mere paas kai saalo ki yaaden hai, main jee lunga. Woh jee lega. 

And the line, Mohtaaj manzil ka toh nahi hai

Ye ek tarfa mera safar, that's the best part of the song the protagonist is narrating; in life you don't need to have a definitive goal, occassionally we are chasing something so elusive the world calls us mad, mad he/she may be and is looked down upon but then that's his/her way of life. It's the path I chose and walk on it, I will - all the perils and the uncertainty - it's what I chose. 

There is a beautiful story I had come across once. The world kept telling Majnu that his Laila is dark skinned akin to a moonless night and in his response he says, 'the letters in the Holy Book are written in black, so now tell me when a life what you live by is inscribed in black, who are you to question, who I chose to live with?' - kaafi deep hai!

Coming back to what the song expresses, he loves the girl for sure and will love her till the end of his days but he is not dependent on the outcome coz he has given up on it and rather is living with something even more poignant, her in the best form - a beautiful memory, like the memory of old childhood tales, of imagination and wonder, of nostalgia!

------

Meri rooh hai judi tujhse, 

Karam mera Ishq hai

Har woh cheez teri jo thi/hai

Yaado main woh sambhaal li hai

Kise dhoond rahe ho?

Dhoond kya rahe hoo tum yaha?

Yaha kuch nahi rakha.

Milengi bas kavitayen tumhe

Thoda kuch in main jhaank lo

Pad kya rahe hoo tum yaha?

Kitab ka panna thodi hu?

Kora kaagaz ho, humari kitaab se phata

Udd ke main yaha aa gira.

Kya soch rahe ho dikhega yaha?

Yaha main kavi nahi.

Milega tumko ek insaan yeh

Khud hi ko jisne kabhi ka kho diya

Batau tumhe milega kya yaha?

Milega mera junoon

Milegi meri kahaani

Milunga main nahi, woh!

Tum usko dhoond rahe ho yaha?

Nazar ghuma ke toh dekho, har jaga bas woh hi milega. 

Bas woh hi milega. Bas woh hi milega. 

Mera Khuda bas yahi milega!

Kalank Bonus Track

Dil mein jo dilbar ka darbaar hai

Sajde mein baithe hain jitni dafa

Woh meri mannat mein har baar hai

.......

Jo apna hai saara sajaniya pe waara

Na thame re kisi aur ka aanchal piya

.......

Kalank nahi ishq hai kaajal piya.

Kalank - Bonus Track

Yeh gaana zara jaake sun na, jo koi bhi yaha pad raha hai na, sun na bas. 

This song has a soul. 

Everytime I listen to the song, I wonder - log aise lyrics sochte bhi kaise hai?

How are the writers able to express a certain emotion so beautifully in words that can be sung. None of my poems can be sung - only recited. 

The line, Kalank nahi ishq hai kaajal piya, we hide it from the world for the fear of backlash but I think that's something we fail at, tell the world what we are capable of and like how a woman inspite of her beautiful eyes, still applies her kaajal, everyday just to look that one bit more beautiful - love is just that - it's makes the two of us look that bit more adorable. 

Ask, why has the kaajal vanished, love never did, then why has the kaajal vanished?

Listen to the song and the original Kalank song too. It's beautiful, the lyrics. 

-----

'Ik tarfa shayad ho dil ka bharam

Do tarfa hai toh ye sanjog hai'

(Kalank original)

------

Mohtaj manzil ka tu nahin hai
Yeh ek tarfa mera safar

(Ae dil hai mushkil)

Sochna zaroor!

You know what song I'll be reviewing next :)

Bediyan/Decisions

Hai mere paanv hi

Khud meri bediyaan

Us se mujhe tu chooda

......

Dil ke viraane mein

Mere phasane mein

Tu hi toh har dum raha.

-Tera Mera Rishta. 

I have been talking and talking a lot, to a lot of people, this quarantine and surprisingly each and everyone of us has gone through a phase of self-realization and have re-evaluated life choices at multiple levels. Some are questioning where their career is headed and some are questioning where their life?

How much have we lost ourselves in the process, which is an illusion to stay happy and what all have we buried for something that we assumed would give us peace in the long run, but now that life has slowed down and has forced us to think, to consider and to ruminate, the shroud is slowly disappearing. 

We make choices and sometimes choices are just an impediment in our endeavour to a life we imagined or a life pictured by us and sometimes you make choices because you need to go through the whole of your inner turmoil and uncertainty to be able to finally come out of it with a certain clarity. For some, like me it took close to two years to reach a conclusion of what I wanted with life and I am pretty clear with the outcome.

But on the other hand there are a few who struggle to choose with a decision that was taken/given due to circumstances - emotional or practical(very subjective) and when the realisation dawned upon them, their life turned topsy turvy and they are now just a child in a toy store, scared and confused. 

But you don't have to be, you are just going to come out of it stronger. But you need to do it alone. Nobody can and should hold your finger and take you to the exit, coz phir se you will just end up following the footsteps of that person who helps you and the(your) entire journey, your entire existence, will be rendered futile.

Now, I leave you with a thought - what do you want to do when you are 60 and are looking back at life? 

You want to be as confused as you are today or you want to look back and tell yourself, I respect myself for every action I took. 

You are not wrong if you are selfish, you are just looking out for self preservation. Isn't that a basic human instinct?

----

Main juda nahi tujhse, tu ibadat hai meri

Tere liye main hardam hoo, yeh marzi hai meri.

Zindagi

Taaron Bhari Ek Raat Mein

Tere Khat Padhenge Saath Mein

Kora Jo Panna Reh Gaya

Ek Kaanpte Se Haath Mein

Thodi Shiqaayat Karna Tu

Thodi Shiqayat Main Karun

Naraaz Bas Na Hona Tu,

Zindagi...

- Zindagi Kuch toh Bata.

These lines, can be interpreted in the most beautiful ways. Toota dil ho, ya bichde dost, ya koi extrovert - basically 'longing' ka koi bhi form ho.

Yeh scenes generally movies main hote hai but aise ek movie series hai 'Before Trilogy'; Before Sunrise is the first, it's beautiful, though I don't remeber much but I really want to re-watch it all, may be tonight

But again think about it, on the way to adulting, we end up losing so many friends, people we loved, family members and as years progress the realisation dawns upon us, as one starts getting busier some friends are no more at the same wavelength with you and you realise some have settled in a 'gruh grihasti' and some just fade out. 

And we envision a day when we can just sit down with a few and have just one night to discuss a lot that remained unsaid and one kicks himself as to why didn't they, May be the time is now?

Kora kagaz, ek unkahi kahani,

Tum aur main, meri zubaani. 

Eyes

Like a pristine pearl in the wind

Like a nightingales song in the night 

Like a budding lotus in the swamp

Like clouds during a monsoon storm 

Stranger Times

Park main bench pe main baitha hua tha 

Woh aaye aur bagal main baith gaye 

Hum bench pe baithe bas dhoop sekh rahe the 

Samvaad ke scope se kayi dur.  

Koi brisk walk kar raha tha 

Toh koi daud laga raha tha 

Kae picnic mana rahe the

Toh kae bas tehel rahe the 

Hum chup ine bas notice kar rahe the 

Woh apne khayal samet rahe the, main apne.

Maine mera left waala earphone unhe offer kiya

Hum ab ek bahut hi madhur geet sun ne lage.

Not a word uttered, just a smile of thanks. 

------

Ghanto beet jaate hai aise, kabhi jazz bajta hai toh kabhi Pink Flyod 

Kabhi hindi classics bajte hai, toh kabhi A.R. Rehman ya Amit Trivedi ki composition.

Playlist ke gaane khatam hote hi,

Hum uth te hai, aur chal dete hai.

Main unka naam nahi jaanta 

Woh mera pata nahi jaante 

Hum bas jaante itna hai

Ki music ka taste humara ek sa hi hain. 

Life ko hum uss sam-ae pause kar dete 

Aur gaano ko play kar ke chod dete

Aisa bhi saath milega koi, jaan ke bhi anjaane

Aur yeh hi hum doono ke liye kuch kaafi sa hai.