Ek dhaage mein hain uljhe yun
Ke bunte bunte khul gaye
Hum the likhe deewar pe
Baarish huyi aur dhul gaye
So I watched Thappad. Now, I knew it so going to make me think and think hard. It did. Have you ever reminisced about all the wrongs you've done and then sat and mulled over how you could fix it but never came around to fix it until it was too late and when you finally did, the film ended?
But sometimes - sometimes, you don't get permission into the next screen - so you are left wondering and then starts a reaction of self thought that either makes you a bitter person or makes you want to be a better person.
The movie here is what I will talk about not in details, yeh hua, woh hua, nahi. Just a few parts. Parts that make you think about who you are as a human?
There is a scene where he(Vikram) is talking to the father and says, 'ho gaya na' and the father responds, 'Zyaada zaroori saawal hai, aisa kyun hua?'
That's the moment I savoured the most. I want to be man like that and to be real honest, I am not, never was - I try to be but I fail. May be I have taken a few things a bit too much for granted and never realised, aisa kyun hua and always reasoned with myself, ab ho gaya na, aage kya?
The next scene is, when she is sitting at her mother-in -law's feet and says, 'uss raat ke baad koi nahi aaya mere se milne......Amu ko bhool jaana chahiye' -
This scene just tore me apart, I was in tears (rivers flowed that night) at this moment.
I remember a moment when my self respect once took a hit. I ended up at a wrong platform (at a certain stage in life) and I was there with hope, hope, for I felt it was the right thing to do and I found out later that it wasn't. The moment your self respect takes a hit, you are bitter and it's not easy to forgive. It's never easy to forgive. When I can't, then I can't expect forgiveness when I am at fault. I too have sinned.
The scene that made me the most sad was when he tells Amu, 'Amu iss baar na, kamaunga main tujhe'
That resonated with me, you sometimes screw up so many relationships - old friends, new friends, important people, so many - that you have to then earn them back, bit by bit from zero. It's not easy. But you do if it matters to you. I tried that, when I ended up at the wrong platform (at a certain point in life referenced earlier), I arrived with a hope, a hope, that I can earn back what was once mine - bit by bit, I didn't expect it was easy, but I did try. I didn't want to give up hope. Like Vikram here does not.
But then at one point, Amu says, I don't love you, when I don't love you I can't live with you. What do you do then?
I'd say, pack your bags and get the fuck out, with grace. Dignity above all. You can't force people to like you, infact you should never do that. I've lost friends - I've tried reconciliation but when they are uninterested or when I don't really care - it needs to be buried, and one that's gracefully done. Then you move on and they do too.
Incase you can't move on and are stuck up, my advice, don't ever tell them coz they don't care and why should they? They don't owe you shit, they did when they did, now it's your problem you live in the past or you are living with a sense of longing. It's your problem, you might as well deal with it.
This particular emotion is beautifully captured in the lines below from the movie itself.
Hijr waali raato ki, (hayee)
Kabro main soo gaye.
Tum humaare jitne the
Sach kaho kya utne the
Jaane do mat kaho kitne the.
-----
Nahi sun na kitne the
Shayad utne nahi the
Jitna hum chahte the
Waise hi rehte hai, jaise the?
(Note: Lot of important points and issues raised by the makers- must watch for men atleast)
I had to add this -
A point where Ratna Shah and Kumud Mishra are having a conversation and he says, 'maine aapko kabhi kisi cheez ke liye mana kiya hai?'
She replies, 'Mana nahi kiya, par poocha bhi toh nahi, ke Sandhya tumne gaana kyun chod diya'
This is not just men and women, but then it's about a relationship of every kind, kya aapne kabhi poocha mujhhse - rather have the two of us ever spoken to each other about the other and not about my problems, listen to me and then I'll lend you my ear, it's not a post office and we are not in a queue.
I am guilty of this too, with some people, it's just about me, my problems.
Have I ever asked them - aaj aapne mera suna, aap bataye - how are you doing?
It can be your friend, your brother, mother, anybody.
Think about it. Such a small question, yet such an important one at that.
